Doesn’t that headline sound like the title of a great Nancy Drew mystery? Really, it’s the title of my life right now. As my belly grows increasingly rotund, I’m having increasing difficulties covering it up. And as I inch closer and closer to my due date, I inch farther and farther away from wanting to make any additional maternity clothing purchases.
Dressing for pregnancy is a serious challenge. In those early days, you notice suddenly that your pants are a bit snug. That progresses to them being tight, and you not being able to zip them up. That’s the point when I went straight to the Target version of the Bella Band. When I progressed to full-on maternity pants, I really thought I was getting somewhere.
At first, those maternity pants are like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day. Pants with a band that expands to fit your girth? How comfy! How unrestricted by buttons and zippers!
But what I didn’t account for was the fact that yes, you can outgrow your maternity pants. I had naively assumed that a pair of pants would last me during the entire maternity period. However, all of my maternity shorts are now getting tighter and tighter, threatening to cut off circulation. Also? As the belly shifts outward, maternity shirts that once seemed to be knee-length are now barely covering skin. The next step is only larger maternity wear, and what can I say? I’m too cheap to invest for just a few more weeks.
I’ve got a few dresses to get me by, but as I still have six weeks until my due date, I might break down and buy a skirt or two. I don’t think I can stomach (ha ha) wearing the same three dresses for six weeks, especially when two of those dresses are exactly the same except for the color.
I look back now on pictures of me at 20 weeks or so, when I thought I was really showing—really large and in charge—and I chuckle and think, “Just you wait.” I’m sure in another month, I’ll look back on my piddly little 34-week belly, laugh and think, “Just you wait.” Because just when you think your belly can’t possibly get any bigger, it does. —Erin