Every woman has a list of things they’ve heard during pregnancy. From the old ladies in the grocery store to your own family members, we’ve all been insulted. Unlike the show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” I knew. There was no hiding my belly; there was no hiding my joy of pregnancy. But, once the comments started rolling in, there were times I wanted to hide! I’ve composed a small list of what not to say to a pregnant woman — or any woman, ever. This is all assuming that you know for sure a woman is pregnant — there is nothing worse than asking a woman if she’s pregnant if she’s not!
14 Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman
1. Wow, you’re only ____ months along? You’re so big! Gee, thanks?
2. When are you due? You look ready to pop! Asking when we are due is totally warranted, following up with a comment on size isn’t — especially if we still have several months to go!
3. How much weight have you gained? Your shocked face doesn’t help us either. Just avoid all weight-related questions!
4. The baby is only measuring 5 pounds? Wow, looks bigger! Again, thank you.
5. You’re so swollen! Captain Obvious called and asked that unless you have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
6. Look at that belly! Yes, we know! It’s growing!
7. Are you sure there aren’t two in there? We’re sure. Want to go in and check for yourself?
8. You’ll never sleep again! Thanks, because I’m sleeping so great NOW.
9. You shouldn’t eat that! We’ve weighed the pros and cons of caffeine or this particular piece of lunch meat. In fact, if I didn’t have caffeine in my system right now, I might have punched you.
10. You’re eating a lot! I know. I’m ravenous, except I’ll totally regret it when I’m jolted out of bed at 3 a.m. with heartburn.
11. Were you trying? Nope, we missed sex ed and had no clue this was a possible outcome.
12. You’re carrying low/high! It’s a boy/girl! Old wives tales shall always remain quiet. We don’t care what you think. We don’t want to know, which is why we didn’t find out!
13. What are your food aversions? Unless you’d like me to vomit on you, don’t ask. If I can’t fathom eating it, I may not want to discuss it in detail.
14. The rub. This one isn’t a “what not to say,” it’s a “what not to do.” Do not go in for the rub! We are not Buddha; no magical genie is coming out to grant you three wishes. The baby is in a little sack below quite a few layers of STUFF. We don’t need strangers in the store touching us. We are hot, swollen and known to have emotional breakdowns at any given moment. So, don’t touch me. And if you’re going to, ask first. We’d rather tell you no than pull a pregnant karate move on you!
Can’t see the video? Click here to see a funny video about things not to say to a pregnant woman.
Basically, don’t take a pregnant belly as your personal allowance to comment on a woman’s size or eating habits. As she says in the video, your safe bet is to say how fabulous a pregnant woman looks and leave it at that!
What were some of the worst comments said to you during your pregnancy? —Jennifer