Why Are We So Fixated on MILFs?

milfI know I’m late to the party on this, but have you guys seen Fergie’s newish video “M.I.L.F $“?

Besides the lyrics being somewhat, er, muddled, lately it’s really, really been weighing on my mind. Especially after my BFF and member of my mom tribe Tish asked Erin and I if we’d heard about all the women and moms flooding into Zumba classes in LA inspired to get fit after Kanye’s new video for “Fade” came out featuring actress and mom Teyana Taylor.

Maybe I’m just getting older. Maybe I’m more acutely aware of everything now that I have a daughter. Maybe I’ve spent too long in the Fit Bottomed World thinking that our collective body image issues as a society were getting better. Maybe I’m a prude.

But, WTF, is up with our MILF obsession?

I get wanting to feel attractive and wanting to be found attractive. Especially, after having a baby because your body just is not yours for quite awhile (and it’s hard to feel attractive when you’re covered with spit-up). And obviously I’d never stop anyone from wanting to go to a Zumba class. But this entire culture of value coming from whether or not someone wants to you-know-what you? Really?

Aren’t moms trying to do enough already? Isn’t growing a person for nine months, birthing them, feeding them (from your boobs or not) and then raising them enough to have value? Now, on top of having the perfect Pinterest-looking home and cooking the perfect healthy meal, the ideal mom also has to be a total sexpot. (But probably not too much of a sexpot in real life, ’cause you’ll get flack for that, too.)

Shouldn’t we applaud being healthy and feeling good and being active with our kids more than dripping milk and sweat over our hairless toned bodies? Shouldn’t we want to go to the gym so that we can push our own limits and be our own version of best — instead of trying to be someone else in a music video?

I’m sure that if we sat down with the women in the videos that Fergie, Kim, Chrissy and Teyana would probably say that they all found the experience to be fun and maybe even liberating— they were celebrating their bodies, in all their different shapes and sizes. And I get that. Feeling sexy feels really, really awesome and empowering.

I just hope that all the women and girls watching it get that empowered feeling from within themselves. And not from what the guy (and world) expects us all to be.

What do you think about these videos? Fun? Do they motivate you to work out? Or does it make you question the MILF obsession, too? —Jenn 

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  1. Hmm – most of my memory of MILFs almost always come from x-rated sites, and the more “normalized” terms that I’ve come across are “yummy mummies” – perhaps it’s what MILF stands for.

    But now that you mentioned it, I think to a certain aspect, I think “yummy mummy” is more appropriate, given that the term MILF is more sexualized (then again, aren’t both men AND women sexual?) – I think if it creates a desire for mums to want to tone up, improve the way they move, look, and if they’re ok with the term MILF and actually want to be called that, then more power to them.