Nowadays, it’s much harder to get out of the house and get my errands done. It’s like leaving town each time; I have to be fully prepared. What should be done in a day typically gets spread out over several. Sometimes I’m not even able to complete my entire market list because a fit or nap time creeps up. So, I went alone. It was Friday night, basketball was on, Jake had some friends over. Evan was upstairs fast asleep. This was my moment!
I grabbed my market list and shopping bags and left before anyone could stop me. It was 9 p.m., and the market was empty. There were a few late-night shoppers, the restocking team and me. It was me and my list — no one in the front seat of the cart, no one needing attention — just me.
For a short time, I felt guilty about how good it felt to do this alone. It felt so freeing, in a very empty way. I didn’t have anyone calling my name repetitively, no one demanding my eye contact. I was alone. I walked up and down the aisles, sometimes aisles I didn’t need to be in, just because I was in no rush. I scanned my list multiple times because typically I forget something because I’m working so quickly. For once, I was able to take my time. Life at the market at night is different; it’s relaxed and it seemed like everyone was moving slower. I liked it. Oftentimes I forget to slow down, and it was a good reminder.
I don’t remember my life without Evan, it feels so long ago. What I do recognize is how much I didn’t value my alone time. On a Friday night, I was excited to be at the market by myself. For some, that sounds absolutely absurd. For any other busy mama, it likely sounds glorious!
What tasks do you now relish doing by yourself? What do you consider a luxurious exercise in alone time when you get to do it sans kids? —Jennifer