I’m writing this at 36 weeks pregnant. And as a first-time mama-to-be after a lot of heartache, I have some thoughts about the third trimester so far. Mostly that the only word I can describe it as is “more.”
I’ve been blessed with a relatively uneventful pregnancy and lots of normal “symptoms” that are really just minor complaints compared to the craziness my body is doing. But, still, there’s more. A lot more. Besides there just being an extra 26 pounds (and counting) of me and a bump that gets more and more pronounced every day (guys, I’m down to like four shirts, two pairs of pants and two workout tops … ), there’s also more of all the symptoms I’ve had in the previous trimesters.
There are more kicks and pushes and turns and whomps. There are more frequent — and urgent — trips to the bathroom. There’s more food on my plate. More doctor’s appointments. There’s more — here comes the pregnant lady TMI — ear wax (what the … ) and discharge. There are more Braxton Hicks, and there is certainly more boobage going on.
There’s more attention on me. I can’t go anywhere without someone asking me when I’m due, what I’m having and offering advice. Friends and family are checking on me and the wee one, and my husband and I are trying to squeeze in as many dinners and movies out both with just the two of us and with friends and family as we can. We know things will change.
There are also a lot more emotions. One moment I’m over-the-moon pumped to meet my new little girl. Other times, it’s terrifying to think of just how much my world and daily routine will change — and how much more we need to do to get ready for her, whether it’s reading another book, doing another meditation or simply washing itty-bitty baby socks and washcloths and placing them in the perfect spot. I have more nesting to-dos to check off no matter how many I get done (something always needs organizing or fixing, it seems). There are more thank-yous to write, more pregnancy memories to jot down, more items to add to our birth bag, and more of a need for me to both do everything and just chill the heck out and enjoy this special time.
Because, the other thing there is more of? Love.
I’ve felt myself open up and just — corny as it sounds — let love in. My baby shower was honestly one of the best days of life (thanks Tish, Tessa, Karen and Hayley!), and I felt so surrounded by support and love. For the last 8 months, my husband has spoiled the heck out of me, taking care of this and that without me even asking, and telling me that I’m beautiful on the daily. And you already know about my mom friends and how great they’ve been. Not to mention that I’ve had so many friends who are also pregnant right now to go through this journey with.
I knew this would be a life-changing time for me, but I feel as though it’s just been a warm-up for the soul expansion that’s to come. That this gratitude I’m feeling for the amazing people in my life who have come together and the love I already feel for my yet-to-be-born child is just going to continue to explode outward. That I’ll be challenged in new ways and have no idea what’s really to come, but that the foundation of that journey will be built on love, compassion and just more.
More, more, more. —Jenn